| 一个新的趋势， 新加坡男人真的哪么差吗？ Younger men in Singapore seek foreign brides |
| Melissa Sim and Melissa Kok The Straits Times Publication Date : 25-07-2010 |
Civil servant C. Low was 28 years old when he sought a Vietnamese bride. The Singaporean did it because his plan was to settle down and have a family by the age of 30. He was planning way ahead: He wanted children who could support him in his later years. He said that at 28, he reckoned he would need another two or three years to get to know a Singaporean girl before settling down, and even then, it might not work out. Low, who had girlfriends before, said he wanted a relationship which was 'guaranteed' to end in marriage. "Marrying a local or marrying a foreign bride is the same, both might end in divorce... but so far, it's okay, I already have a one-year-old daughter," the 30-year-old said matter-of-factly. Younger men like Low are signing up with matchmaking agencies to look for a foreign bride. The market, which used to be dominated by the over-45s, is attracting better-educated men in their 20s and 30s. Low, for example, has a diploma in engineering. He is articulate, fluent in English, earns about 40,000 Singapore dollars (US$29,000) a year, and now lives with his wife and parents in a five-room Housing Board (HDB) flat. Five matchmaking agencies contacted said younger men now form up to 40 per cent of their clientele. One agency, Life Partner Matchmaker, claimed that 60 per cent of its younger clients are also degree holders, some of whom earn more than S$5,000 (US$3,650) a month. Its owner, Janson Ong, said such clients would have tried local dating agencies, or dated Singaporean women before seeking his services. Asked why young, educated men earning decent incomes would have trouble finding a partner, Ong said: "Some feel that they pak tor (Cantonese for 'date') a few years, then the Singaporean girls will dump them. "They think it's a waste of time. So they pay and they can choose a pretty wife." Beyond the pragmatism displayed, agencies also said there is now less stigma attached to men seeking a foreign bride. Noting a change in perception of such matchmaking agencies now compared with a few years ago, Ong added: "Maybe last time they (the younger men) thought it was only the unwanted or dirty old men who wanted the young brides. "But now we advertise on the Internet, maybe the younger men, like those 'yuppies', find out more about us and think it's not like that at all." In general, agency owners said Singaporean men are looking for simple women with lower expectations who are willing to stay at home and look after the family. While statistics show that more men are marrying women with higher educational qualifications, the majority of men still marry women with an equal or lower education level. For example, of marriages under the Women's Charter, 30 per cent of men with post-secondary education married 'upwards' in 2009, compared with 17 per cent in 1999. This means that 70 per cent of these grooms married women of equal or lower educational qualifications. Experts say it is not surprising, given that Singapore is, to a large extent, still a patriarchal society where men prefer to marry someone with a lower socio-economic status. Associate Professor Tan Ern Ser, a sociologist at the National University of Singapore, said: "Men with lower educational qualifications, or on the lower rungs of the social ladder, may not have the option of marrying upwards socially. So a good bet for them is to look outwards." Gary Tan, 40, found a Hainanese bride through an agency last year. He had been in nearly 10 relationships with Singaporean women before he turned to Loi Eng Tuang of Ideal Marriage Centre for help. Asked why his previous relationships didn't work out, Tan, who works as a credit controller with Sembcorp Enviro, used a Hokkien phrase, jiak you tang, or an engine that needs a lot of oil to run. Women, he said, can be quite demanding. "Every date, must also pay a lot of money." A successful match can set a man back by S$8,000 to S$10,000 (US$5,800 to US$7,200). Tan, who had some financial help from his mother, paid the agent S$8,800 (US$6,400) for his bride. It was a price he felt was worth forking out. A. Ho, 35, a teacher, is one example of someone who was too busy with work to spend time dating. He has had relationships before and joined the Social Development Unit, now known as the Social Development Unit-Social Development Service (SDU-SDS). But he said he was "too lazy" to participate in the activities. "Sometimes you're too mentally and physically tired due to work. It's much easier to get a wife this way, but to get a good person may depend on luck," he said. Explaining his decision to turn to a foreign bride agency, he said: "I didn't need a career woman, I just wanted a wife and a family. If our grandparents could go through matchmaking, why not us?" Source: http://www.straitstimes.com/Home.html |
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